Critical Consensus: Beowulf is Certified Fresh; Magorium Short on Magic; Cholera is Under the Weather

This week at the movies, we’ve got epic poems come to life (Beowulf,starring Ray Winstone andAngelina Jolie), a magical toy shop (Mr. Magorium’s WonderEmporium, starringDustin Hoffman andNatalie Portman), and romance in themidst of infectious disease (Love in the Time of Cholera, starringJavier Bardem). What do the critics have to say?

Grendel waiting until somebody invents Jergens.

Everyone can use a dose of magic and whimsy from time to time, right? Butfrippery requires a light touch, something critics say Mr. Magorium’s WonderEmporium lacks. Emporium starsDustin Hoffman in the title role asthe proprietor of a magic toy store, a place where baubles can come to life,fueled by imagination;Natalie Portman plays his protégé. The pundits say thebig problem with Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium is that it ODs onzaniness in an effort to make up for a bland storyline. At 24 percent on theTomatometer, business isn’t all that brisk at this Emporium.

Chaplin, post-‘stache.

“Boy, these Dean Martin celebrity roasts are hilarious!”

Recent Natalie Portman Movies:—————————————84% — Paris, Je T’Aime (2007)29% — Goya’s Ghosts (2007)24% — Free Zone (2006)72% — V for Vendetta (2006)80% — Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

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