Chatting With Reno’s Finest: Lt. Dangle, Deputy Junior, and Trudy Wiegel

Comedy Central’s hit faux reality show, “Reno 911!,” is hitting the big screen as the dysfunctional squad of law enforcers find themselves at a police convention in Florida. When a terrorist plot puts 2,000 of the nation’s best cops out of commission, Reno’s finest find themselves unlikely heroes charged with policing the streets of Miami.

Read on to hear about the “Reno 911!” office dynamics (multiple restraining orders), their Oscar picks (“Beaches”), career hopes, and TONS more “Reno 911!” related tidbits!

**Disclaimer: The following article contains mature language and content.

RT: How’s San Francisco treating you all?

Dangle: Fantastic. It’s the capital of the world! —

Trudy: — technically, I think Beirut is the capital of the world —

Dangle: — I don’t know if it’s because I’m in my uniform, with the moustache, and the shades, and the highlights, but the people have been really treating me like a hometown boy.

Trudy: Well you have hometown advantage here.

Dangle: Yeah, I kinda do. This is my peeps.

RT: Have you been to San Francisco before?

Dangle: Oh my goodness gracious yes. If not the number one thing about living in Reno — the proximity to here.

RT: What sort of misrepresentations are you worried about coming across in the movie?

Dangle: A lot of our interactions with each other have been cast forward as if…

Junior: We’re a bunch of horny retards.

Dangle: Yeah, as if we’re all constantly walking around with a boner, trying to get the other one into some sort of erotic tickle bath.

Trudy: In other words, I think we’re afraid of accuracy.

Dangle: No, no, no…

Junior: Yes.

Dangle: Yes. You know, it – ow! [writhes in his seat] Son of a b****, I actually just hurt my balls.

Junior: You alright? Want me to call somebody?

Dangle: — really badly! I’m alright, I’m alright.

Trudy: Should I get the concierge?

Dangle: I leaned forward and…son of a b****!

Junior: We have a bonafide injury.

Dangle: Aagh. That very seldom happens…it paints us obviously to look dumber than we are, when the fact is, we are…

Junior: Hard working civil servants…

Dangle: Hard working civil servants! And, for our force, we’re the eight that we show!

Junior: Oh, them other nimrods…there’s a very steep drop off between the eight deputies –

Dangle: There’s not just eight of us.

RT: So in reality the Reno Sheriff’s department is much larger?

Dangle: Oh, there are more members of the Reno Sheriff’s department. There’s Ugly Ray. Uh…

Trudy: He only has half a face.

Junior: Self-inflicted wound.

Trudy: The half that he does have is attractive.

Junior: Yeah, if you look at him from the right side, he don’t look bad.

Dangle: We got a guy, Rick, who talks through a [motions to his throat], he lost his larynx…

Junior: Chain smoker. Really gives folks the giggles because he has to put the lil’ device up to the loudspeaker to bark at people over the intercom on the car…

Trudy: Yup, and he’s doing that while smoking a cigarette…

Dangle: We got Donna, who was one of those Thalidomide babies. She’s uh…sweet as pie, but she looks…unfortunate.

Junior: Yup…of unfortunate build.

RT: So the eight of you were really the most photogenic ones?

Dangle: We’re the really really camera-ready fun, smart ones.

Junior: We’re the crack —

Dangle: — the A-Team. You really don’t wanna meet Donna, Rick and…we have other ones.

RT: How relaxed are the admissions requirements to become a cop in Reno?

Dangle: Very relaxed. Crystal Methamphetamine is sweeping the region, and we need every warm body we can get to fight it. Our new requirements are three push ups (girl push ups are acceptable), one set of monkey bars, and a brief, multiple choice psychological profile. (Sample question: DO YOU FANTASIZE THAT YOU ARE THE ANGEL OF DEATH?) It’s pretty easy stuff. Our drug testing is also a lot looser. A history of shrooms, weed and whippets is no longer an automatic disqualification. So as long as you don’t think you’re the Angel of Death and can do monkey bars, you’re solid.

RT: There’s one thing everyone wants to know: what is up with Dangle and Trudy, after the events of Miami?

Trudy: Well you saw what happened in Miami, and his watch is still caught in my privates. Not the whole watch, just links. We had to remove the timepiece, and two of the links —

Dangle: — just the two of the links, they broke off there.

Trudy: I carry a letter when I go through airport security.

RT: Did the night end there?

Dangle: Pretty much after the watch got caught in the pubes, that was about it.

Trudy: Well, that’s what you think, ’cause you passed out.

Dangle: I passed out. What did you do?!

Trudy: I had a great time.

Dangle: Oh dear Jesus. Huh.

Trudy: No, it was mostly just singing…and lightly touching.

Dangle: You didn’t take JPEGs of this I hope, did you?

Junior: Oh, you haven’t seen her MySpace page?

Trudy: I took sketches though, and I scanned them.

RT: Trudy, do you see a future for you and Dangle, or are you moving on?

Trudy: If there is a future for me at all, I’d be surprised. I’ll just be happy to make it to tomorrow morning.

RT: Well, Lt. Dangle I know you have a history with women.

Dangle: I was briefly married to Deb —

Junior: — it was a porking of convenience —

Dangle: It was a porking of convenience. Deb was the heiress to a vacuum cleaner fortune. When I met her, she — I thought — had about six months to live; she was way beyond morbidly obese.

Junior: Big girl.

Dangle: Some f***er goes and invents stomach staples, the gastric bypass, and she’s still kickin’! Not that I have anything against her. [Pause] Or wish her dead.

We never had sexual relations; at the time –

Trudy: She wasn’t capable!

Dangle: No, it was never consummated. Because she was not capable.

Trudy: You couldn’t get to the parts.

Dangle: No, you could get to her parts…

Trudy: You just couldn’t get out.

Dangle: You would have been pinned.

Junior: Huh.

RT: Under the folds…

Dangle: That would have been a sort of a Donner Pass that you’d never get out of.

RT: Ok, so what’s up with you and Officer Jones?

Dangle: You know how sometimes two friends, one friend will…jump out of the showers nude, and will do like a “I’m a little Pokemon” dance for the other one? And one misinterprets it…that’s what I did, and I’m not ashamed to say it. I jumped out nude, I had a three-quarter erection — which was totally coincidental — and I was pretending to be a little Pokemon and I thought he would find this funny. Now it turns out, you can’t account for everybody’s sense of humor. Some people have different senses of humor.

Junior: So the three quarter was accidental, and yet you were the Pokeman.

Dangle: Now see, this is how they twist my words around, and it’s now coming off inappropriate. When the fact is it was very funny if you were there.

RT: Right.

Dangle: That’s our relationship, is he filed a…

Junior: Restraining order.

Dangle: Pfft. They call it that.

Junior: You have to stay 50 feet away when you’re off duty.

Dangle: They call it that.

Junior: There are so many restraining orders between different members of our department, that they’re gonna have to build like a 300 yard morning briefing room so we can all go in at once.

Dangle: [Looks across the room] Trudy’s violating one right now.

RT: Is that why Junior’s sitting in the middle?

Junior: I’m a buffer state.

RT: Before the movie you were kind of reality TV stars, but now that you’ve gone Hollywood how have your lives changed?

Dangle: Certainly name recognition.

Junior: When you’re a law enforcement officer and you drive around, people tend to show their respect by shoutin’…

Dangle: “Hey, f****t!”

Junior: Yeah, or “F**k you, a**hole!”

Trudy: Sometimes they throw s**t at you.

Junior: And now it’s definitely changed…

Dangle: “Hey Dangle, you’re a f****t!” Which means they must know a little bit more about me than before.

Trudy: “Hey Trudy, you f***in’ retard!” Then I get hit.

Junior: So it’s name recognition, it’s getting out there —

Dangle: — name recognition, combined with hate speech.

Junior: Yeah.

Dangle: We used to get the hate speech before, but now, we know who they’re talking to. It feels…more specific.

RT: Your movie comes out around Oscar time, so what are each of your Oscar picks? Junior, last year were you a “Brokeback” guy or a “Crash” guy?

Junior: What’s that? I missed both of those.

Trudy: They’re films, feature films.

Dangle: I tried to get you to come to “Brokeback” with me, remember that’s the one —

Junior: –yeah, you kept saying it was a good cowboy movie…

Dangle: Ah, best cowboy movie ever!

Junior: No, we got a video store, a two dollar video store, in Reno. We don’t get a lot of first-run movies. We usually get Oscars from four, five years ago. And I tend to miss those.

Trudy: Yeah, I just saw “Beaches,” and it was incredible! It’s definitely gonna win an Oscar.

Dangle: “As Good As It Gets” — has this one just come out or has that one been out for a while? My goodness, it was a wonderful, splendid film.

We’ve got a two dollar movie theatre that’s mostly used by winos as a sort of “jack off” palace. I’ve been a couple times this year, and I tried to sit through “Finding Neverland” — it just came out here — but there was so much tugging going on around me that it was hard to concentrate. That Depp is a remarkable piece of work, though. I wouldn’t mind.

RT: Have you and Junior seen “Night At The Museum,” and what did you think of it?

Dangle: I’m not really into “Art House” type movies like that.

RT: Do you all have any favorite cops from TV?

Dangle: I’m a bit of an Adrian Zmed buff.

Junior: Who’s that?

Dangle: Adrian Zmed? “TJ Hooker?”

Junior: A foreigner?

Dangle: It has nothing to do with his racial background. I go off looks.

RT: Who’s your celebrity crush?

Trudy: I have a bit of a crush on Clay Aiken. He’s a super-hunk! And, he has a voice like an angel. And an ass like a Greek god.

RT: By the way, where’s your baby?

Trudy: He’s in the car. But don’t worry, I cracked the windows open a bit and left him some crackers and a Dr. Pepper.

RT: So guys, is the cop thing a long-term career?

Dangle: Oh dear, I hope not.

Junior: I don’t know if we’re qualified to do much else.

RT: Trudy, what message would you give to little girls who want to grow up to be policewomen?

Trudy: Don’t do it. Pick a profession that pays, like prostitution or professional volleyball player.

I’m hoping to go back into yogurt sales someday, if they’ll have me. And if you’re listening, TCBY, I would love to come back.

Junior: They asked her to leave.

Trudy: They asked me to leave.

Junior: It was another pube-related kind of an incident…

Trudy: Yeah, another restraining order.

Dangle: I think I’d be good as, you know, atmosphere, in pictures…you look at me, and I add a level of plausibility to any scene, in either feature films or the sort of soft core pornography market.

Junior: Do they have background extras in soft core pornography?

Dangle: Oh goodness gracious, certainly. Oh my goodness, where’ve you been?

Trudy: That’s how Ron Jeremy started.

Junior: I guess I don’t see the high budget ones.

Trudy: You just stand in the back and let your balls hang out.

Junior: Oh, you could do that! You do that all the time.

RT: Do you ever find yourself falling out of your short shorts?

Dangle: Once in a while, we have what we call a little security breach…less and less in the winter, when I go into a sort of semi-hibernation state. Or “turtling,” as we call it. But in the summer, yeah it happens. What do you want me to do, apologize for it? I apologized to that Boy Scout troop that it happened in front of!

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